History of a pleasure seeker.

Assure me of your gentleness, your expertise, your control. Tell me what to do, put my pliant fingers about your throbbing manhood. I am afraid, you can see a quick flame of pain in my eyes... but i have never known such pleasure, such total accord... almost total. I would not let you go from me, not permit you to rest, on and on through the night, tearing me in the edge of the cliff. delirious with fatigue, anguished but restless... you'll take a step back, and I move slowly inside you, bringing you with me every step of the way.

I feel a different woman, I look at the usual objects around me and they radiate originality, unfamiliarity. I want to touch things, I run my fingers over the kitchen table, I take delight in pouring tea in a cup. I am in love with the world, for I found my perfect man. I feel free.

I do not look nor do I strive for perfection ... I embrace the flawed, the bent, the broken, the troubled, the tormented, and I look for the person behind as well as within. I love the element of discovery as I weave through this dichotomy of strength and vulnerability and find the person within the persona often revealing the hidden, protected truth. A peeling away, so-to-speak. I have learned not to expect, not build too tight a framework, to be receptive to spontaneity and the “gifts” that surface during a portrait collaboration. From attitude and mood to body language, energy, and personality the portrait is revealed within a framework of trust. Within this landscape comes opportunity for honest, emotional, provocative revelation. The emotional collaboration of two becomes the vision of one.

Ken Merfeld

how to dump a boy-friend

There is no way to hold on to anything from the past, neither a memory or human being. Human beings deceive and lie to each other in spite of their love. And I loved him dearly, but without any sentimentality. I knew I was relatively safe, so I can break off without being hurt. But he should always be a pleasant surprise, surprise that csn never can become a habit.

- will you be unfaithful to me?
- naturally
- you think it's natural?
- i am not unfaithful to you, when you are here. When somebody is not here, it's as though he were never coming back. It won't hit me right away - later on..."
- how soon?
- how do I know? don't leave me alone and you'll never have to ask such question. it's the simplest way, if smb's here, I don't need anybody else. If he's not here, I am alone. Who can stand being alone? I can't.
- you just exchange one for another?
- of course not. It's not one for another. It's being alone for not being alone. May be men can stand being alone. Women can't. The ones who say they can, are kidding you, or kidding themselves.
- So you can't stand being alone?
- Not very well. I am a clinging vine. When there is no one to cling to, I lie on the ground and rot.